How to Succeed after Failure


When babies learn to walk, they do not just get up and start taking their first steps whenever they want. They have to struggle, to make an effort to do so. The best thing about them is that they do not give up even after they stumble and fall numerous times. Then, one fine day, the parents can be heard exclaiming with joy as they baby is finally able to take a couple of steps on his own. However, even after that small success, it will have to try and try again until it becomes stable on its own two feet.

Ironic it maybe, but it is true that small babies are better at putting their failures behind them and rising above their stumbles than grown human beings are. However, one need not wallow in sadness due to a failure they experience in life. There are still steps they can take to come back stronger.

Be positive

The secret to a strong comeback lies in adopting a positive attitude in life. Under no circumstances should one blame themselves for their failures. They must not think that they failed due to some shortcoming in their own personality. One must always believe that no matter what happens, they will be okay in the end. The moment they stop believing in themselves, they will truly never be able to succeed. Remember, the best things in life usually occur when one least expects them. A positive attitude will always reap positive results. Just refuse to see things in a bad light. Always remember that there is brightness to be found in the darkest of places if one remembers to turn on the lights.

Be honest

Whenever one faces failures, they can never be just something that hit them due to only their bad luck. There has to be something that the individual is doing wrong too. One needs to scrutinize the situation and then scrutinize their personality. They need to figure out where they went wrong. Were they too defensive in their approach or too aggressive? Should they have tried harder? Finding out the answers to all such questions will be the key. After one has the answers, time can be given for self-improvement. One must try to eliminate the less-pleasing qualities in their personality.

Experiment

The next step is adapting one’s self to the failures that they have faced. Obviously, the things they were trying out did not work, so it is clear that newer things need to be done. Start experimenting with life, decisions and the choices one makes. Try to be unconventional and think out of the box. If one has already setup some expectations for themselves prior to the defeat, try to move away from that if it is felt that these goals are not adequate.

Game Plan

Once it becomes clear where one went wrong and what needs to be corrected, people need to lay out a game plan for what they want to do next with their lives. The experimenting stage helps further with crafting a plan for the future. Set short-term goals for one or two years and long-term goals for the entire phase of life. For example, a twenty-year-old should be able to decide where they see themselves at forty years of age. Of course, the layout on how one approaches these goals will be flexible at all times. However, there should always be a plan outlined for life.

Motivation

Motivation is important in this phase of life. It will help keep a positive attitude and a confident, optimistic approach. One must surround themselves with things that inspire them and builds up their self-esteem. Read inspirational books that portray characters that rise from the ashes to succeed in their stories. Always keep the goals that have been set in mind. One should have the courage to overlook certain failures which they are bound to face at all points in life. Most of all, one needs to be strong during all the phases in life.

Feedback

Gathering feedback from the people in the immediate environment will bring one’s flaws in to clearer focus. Talking to one’s seniors, gurus, friends and colleagues will teach open up further possibilities about the personalities. Ask all these people to be honest in their analysis of where they believe the whole process was flawed.

image credit: pakorn

10 Ways To Find Inspiration In Life


Many people wake up every day wondering what will take place that day, hoping they will get to experience a major life event or maybe just a little excitement, maybe just a change in the scenery. Many people do not have anything in their lives to look forward to and they live day to day waiting for something to happen, something that can provide the motivation necessary for making real life changes. However, when you take the time to look at life in a different way, you may be surprised what you may see and feel. To help you get started on your way to self-improvement, check out these 10 ways to find inspiration in life.

1. Look Around You

Waking up to the natural world around you can be an amazing and inspirational experience. If you live near nature trails, take the time to explore them. Instead of simply walking trails, take the time to look closely at the natural surrounding you. Spend time in nature reading or simply reflecting for being able to reach inside yourself and find your inspirations and those things that you find motivating.

2. The Sounds Of Nature

Visiting parks that have waterfalls or streams can be more than inspirational, but also soothing. Sitting nearby to a waterfall or running creek with closed eyes while listening can be relaxing and help you to reduce the stress and pressures you may be dealing with in your life, giving you the chance to see life in different light.

3. Enjoy The Ones You Love

Find the time to enjoy the people you love. Spending time with your spouse or partner having fun is a great way to increase happiness while also becoming inspired to become more than you are. In a person’s life, knowing you have someone you can look forward to talking to about your accomplishments and dreams can be a source of great inspiration and support as well.

4. Your Private Journal

If you do not have a journal, starting one can provide you a way to let go of your inner thoughts. Writing without being restricted or worrying about someone else reading it can be an excellent form of soothing therapy. Taking time for you is important to feel fulfilled and can help you explore your dreams and goals privately as well.

5. Life Is Easier When You Feel Good

Caring about your health and making an effort to stay healthy is important to you experiencing life in the way it was meant to be experienced. No one can feel good about the world or those people around them if they feel bad or are dealing with health issues, especially the ones that can be painful.

6. Taking Risks In Life

Taking risks in life can be terrifying and frightening. However, life without taking some chances can be uneventful simply due to you restricting your opportunities. Take the chance applying for the job you have always wanted but thought you could never get. Send a love letter to that person you dream about and think would never give you a second thought. Taking risks might be scary, but the results may be more than worth it.

7. Negativity Breeds Negative Outcomes

Stop thinking in a negative way and start looking at yourself and everything around you in a more positive light. Scientific studies have proven the power of thinking in a positive way and it works.

8. Remember The Little Things

Think about the little things in your life that you would be lost without. When you start appreciating the little things in life, you find that there is a huge amount of inspiration in them and in the admiration of their importance to you as well.

9. Bottled Emotions Can Be Suffocating To Your Creativity

Avoid holding in your feelings and not talking about the things that are weighing on your heart. Doing so can cause you to find everything around you less inspiring and boring, making life seem more like a struggle than the adventure it can be.

10. Simply Celebrate Life And Other People

Celebrating the accomplishments of others can be another way you can find inspiration in your own life. Spreading happiness from yourself to others allows you more of it, so when you hear about someone getting a promotion or experiencing some sort of wonderful life change, making over it to them can be good for you and your efforts towards self-improvement.

photo credit: Yogendra174, eflon and __MaRiNa__

50 Self Improvement Ideas



Look in the mirror. You see that there are areas of your life that need improvement. Here are 50 ways to leave your old self behind.

1. Establish firm goals – Create a target and focus your energies to reaching the goal.

2. Aim high – If you aim low, you will achieve the minimum.

3. Be practical – No one can do everything, so set your goals parallel to your greatest strengths.

4. Know where you are going – Mental wandering will keep you going in circles.

5. Prepare yourself – Most achievements are accomplished by a through understanding of where you want to be.

6. Prepare yourself, again – Take inventory of the tools you need, whether physical or mental, and if you do not have them, get them.

7. Guard your health – Working hard to achieving your goals is pointless if your health is too poor to enjoy your success.

8. Eat right – Plan to eat nutritious meals at regular times every day.

9. Become organized – Create a mental roadmap where you want to go and the steps you need to achieve the goal.

10. Believe in yourself – Stop depending on outside approval for your accomplishments

11. Know your own strengths – Everyone has special talents and abilities, and it is up to you to discover what they are.

12. Know your own weaknesses – Everyone has weaknesses, so know what your own are and work to improve on them.

13. Pick your battles – You cannot fight every battle every time, so choose which battles are the ones worth fighting for.

14. Become accountable to you – When you fail, admit is and understand your mistake instead of looking for someone or something to blame.

15. Understand “work in progress” – Rome wasn’t built in a day, so be patient with yourself on your way to achieving your goals.

16. Limit fear – It is natural to be afraid at times but how you choose to deal with fear when it comes will determine the amount of your personal freedom.

17. Accept your mistakes – Not every problem has a solution, and ignoring the reality of an unsolvable major mistake will hinder your growth.

18. Listen to your body – Your body is the best diagnostic tool you have, so pay attention to what is normal, and then you will know when something is wrong.

19. Admit when you need help – This is better to be thought of as choosing to get help rather than continue down the road of frustration and failure.

20. Acknowledge the past – Learn from the past but don’t live in the past

21. Gain an edge - Be suspicious enough to be cautious but optimistic enough to seize an opportunity

22. Understand money – Grow to understand that money is a tool that gives you more options and not an end in itself.

23. Develop a passion – Passion goes beyond merely doing something you like but transforms a want-to-do into a must-do and adds layers of knowledge and experience to what you like to do.

24. Choose to be happy – Happiness is not something that is possible all the time, but many times we can be but choose not to be. Life is easier when your perspective of the world is upbeat.

25. Choose reason over force – While it can be challenging, choosing to reason a situation through instead of trying to force a solution broadens your perspective and minimizes the chance for conflict.

26. Impress yourself – place recognized achievements such as a college degree or certification in a room where you will see them daily.

27. Hear the voice of experience – You don’t need to repeat the mistakes other people made. Heed those who have been there before you.

28. Water is essential – Drinking the proper amounts of water will flush out toxins in your system and is required to convert food into energy.

29. Choose friends selectively – Make sure your inner circle consists of people who will both support and constructively criticize you.

30. Cry when necessary – Crying is a great stress reliever and afterward will give you a different perspective.

31. Avoid overusing alcohol – Drinking is fine, but the evidence is overdoing it usually has negative consequences, sometimes life changing.

32. Learn from the best when possible – The number of people who strive for excellence is far smaller than those who settle for anything.

33. Learn by teaching – You don’t have to be an expert or guru to teach someone what you know, and the questions that will be asked will help you learn.

34. Eat breakfast – Your body needs energy to get you through the day, and breaking the nighttime fast builds a foundation for the rest of the day.

35. Take advantage of technology – Technology was designed to make your life easier and simpler so you have more time to do the important things.

36. Build in a 5 second pause – Before speaking, take a few seconds to consider what you will say, especially in times of high stress or pressure.

37. Schedule fun – Playtime is an essential part of being happy. More than a few people think work is play but the idea is to give yourself some physical and mental downtime.

38. Create beauty – Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but its creation always begins in the hands of the creator.

39. Silence is golden – Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing.

40. Acknowledge the wisdom of older people – This is not about life experience as much as it is the wisdom acquired through those experiences.

41. Take care of your feet – Stop and think how many things you could do if your feet were not in great health.

42. Localize your social network – Social media is good but personal connections are much more intimate and beneficial when meeting face-to-face.

43. Be proactive – Rather than waiting for something to happen and reacting to it, find the problem and discover a solution for it.

44. Become an international – Traveling to other countries opens the door to expanding your perspective of the real world and different cultures.

45. Read more – The best thing about reading is you can choose your own topic, reading level, and schedule the time to do it at your own convenience.

46. Take a break from tradition – We are all limited by our experiences, and much of that comes from following familiar family patterns. Step away from what you know and explore new types of music, art, and entertainment.

47. Listen to instrumental music – Whatever type you choose, instrumental music has the advantage of allowing you to create your own harmonious message instead of one being sent to you.

48. Become spontaneous – While many events need to be planned, some of the best moments in romance, art, and life are those that come directly from the heart.

49. Avoid the crowds – Crowds crowd you in and limit your freedom of thought, movement and discovery.

50. Back up your data – If this sounds silly, ask yourself how many people you know that talk about losing valuable information because they didn’t back it up. Backing up data is a simple process that develops good habits, responsible behavior, and dependability.

image credit: Lauren H

How to Set Goals for Your Self-Improvement



In order to succeed or accomplish anything in life you must first set goals. It is especially a must for any person interested in self-improvement. With that said, one of the first sets of goals should be on self-improvement.

But remember "What you achieve through the journey of life is not as important as who you become" - Author Unknown.

Go ahead and take the actions and steps necessary to make your goal of self-improvement in some area of your life into a reality. A good example of this is how athletes will compare their current performance to their own previous performances with self-improvement being the number one goal.

Below are six goal-setting actions to help you realize your goals:

1. Establish short term goals

Begin with short-term goals that will build upon themselves and lead you to long-term ones.

If you have a big task, like becoming debt free, break it into smaller steps which will help you stay focused and on course. You will feel good as you reach each goal, keeping you motivated and ready for the next one.

2. Have full Commitment with your goals

Make sure you really want the goal. It is very important that the goals you choose are yours and not someone else's goals set for you. If deep down you are not committed to the goals, you will only put off achieving it.

3. Share your goals with others 

By doing this you will gain support you need from others. Make sure you share with those who will encourage you and not with those who will give you negative feedback.

4. Write down your goals 

Create a written statement of goals and sign it. This will reinforce your commitment and give you a map for success. Also, when times get tough you can read your statement to help motivate you.

5. Stay the course and don't give up

There is nothing more satisfying in life then when you complete a goal. Being successful once turns into many. It can become quite additive.

6. Rejoice and celebrate

Take time to savor the moment. You worked hard and found out that by being committed and dedicated your goals were met.

There you have it, six basic steps that will aid you on your journey to successfully obtaining your goals. All though all six steps are important the one that stands out the most is number 1. If you can't break your goal down into bit size portions you will always put it off or procrastinate. And you know what happens when one procrastinates...nothing gets done.

photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Tips for Building Your Self-Esteem



Self- esteem is a personality ingredient that one has to have and if possible in great amounts. That is not to say that a person need to be extremely sure of oneself to the point of arrogance; they just need enough amounts to be able to withstand the pressures of life and lead a contented existence.

It wouldn’t make much difference if self-esteem can be measured.

This is because there is really no specific amount of self-esteem that one can be prescribed with. Different persons need different amounts of self-esteem the same way that different dynamics or aspects of one person’s life require different doses of self-esteem. There is really no specific amount. In fact, different situations also demand different amounts of self-esteem.

Whatever the amounts that you need, there is no argument that one needs self-esteem. It is basically developed during the growing up years in the way we are treated by our parents and the people around us. Parental treatment and social group interaction play major roles in the development of self-esteem. But that is not to say that self-esteem will be a permanent fixture come adulthood. It can still be developed and enhanced, no matter what the age is.

Below are some tips in how to develop the self-esteem, techniques that can work across all ages. Read on and you might get a thing or two that you can apply in your own life or with other people.

Self-affirmation

There is a difference between self-love and narcissism. Although it is not recommended to become obsessed with one’s positive qualities, it is not wrong to once in a while acknowledge our achievements and talents. Self-affirmation is a great way to increase our self-esteem levels. Telling yourself that you are great in front of the mirror every morning may seem too much but it actually works in increasing one’s self-confidence.

Of course, you don’t have to take self-affirmation to the extreme if you don’t want to. Sometimes acknowledging the little achievements that you have done at the end of the day is enough to raise the rate of self-esteem.

Doing the things that you love

There is no aphrodisiac that would make you love yourself more than doing the things that you love. When you love what you are doing, you become happier and more enthusiastic. You will also become more interested in developing your skills, thereby improving yourself and allowing you to trust yourself more. Besides, if you are happy with what you are doing, you are more confident with your decisions and your actions.

Voicing out

There is something quite liberating with voicing out your own opinions and speaking your mind. Although there are some people who would try to put you down and argue with what you believe in; there are still people who will respect you for your thoughts. Acknowledging your thoughts and becoming comfortable with your thoughts will allow you to slowly trust yourself; thus increasing your self-esteem.

Accepting that you are not perfect

There is no perfect person in the world. Often, people develop low self-esteem because they try so much to become perfect; but one thing that they have to learn is that they cannot become one because there is no perfect person. All they can be is the best that they can be.

photo credit: the Italian voice

Four ways to live a longer and happier life



Learning how to become happier in life is a journey into learning how to become happier with yourself.

Happiness isn't so much as an emotion we can't control as it is a state of mind.

What you think, how you think, and how you view your life decides the level of happiness in your life.

If you're a negative person, chances are you'll be less happy than the carefree guy next door.

If you treat everything that happens to you positively, you'll be a lot less frustrated and more satisfied with your life.

Here are some tips on how to become a happier person and live a more fulfilling and longer life.

1. Don't Sweat The Small Stuff. Really. Don't.

There's not much use in crying over spilled milk or ruing over things already done.

If your kids spilled spaghetti on their expensive white dress which you just bought last week, don't go into a rage. Don't explode in anger and blame your kids for being careless with their eating.

Smile and think how precious events like these are.

You're experiencing your child's life as they grow up. You're watching your kids grow up right in front of your eyes.

Isn't that sweet? Isn't that grand?

To hell with the spaghetti stain. It can be washed and laundered, but the anger and resentment you may cause if you scold your kids will stay with them long after the dress you bought has grown old or has been forgotten.

Don't sweat the small stuff, and learn to forgive.

2. Have Lower Expectations.

Studies show that people who have lower expectations are happier than people who have extremely high expectations.

It makes sense.

However, this does not suggest that you don't stretch yourself and set high standards; it's just that you should ensure that your expectations are realistic and achievable to your situation and circumstances.

Positive thinking is essential to achieving any success, but when you set yourself up for 'guaranteed' success, you suffer a bigger fall if you don't get what you want. However, if you have lower expectations, you are then pleasantly surprised when you get more than what you aimed for.

3. Money Can Only Get You So Far.

How you use that money decides whether you become happy or more miserable.

If you want to know how to become happier, follow the lives of happy people.

Observe how most happy people do not have an insane amount of money. They have just enough for their basic needs. The rest, they spend not on material things but on experiences. They spend it on travel, entertainment, relaxation.

Happy people are not materialistic. They don't care about the brand of their clothes or the latest gadgets available. They spend their money on experiences that will enrich their lives, not on products that will suck their souls.

4. Relationships Are Everything.

Happy people are happy because they know what matters - friends and family.

The happiest people on earth are those with the most fulfilling relationships. They don't need to have perfect relationships, just close relationships that enrich their social lives.

The saddest people are the ones who go home, alone, with no one to share their life with.

Learning how to become happier will not only help you live longer, it will also help you live a more productive life.

photo credit: linh.ngan and lorenkerns 

 

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